


Capital Letters

by feentanz



Series: One Shots [14]
Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Everyone is trying to set us up but we've secretely been dating for a while AU, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, just classic zoyalai ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 18:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19836166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feentanz/pseuds/feentanz
Summary: Genya is doing her very best to bring Nikolai and Zoya together, of course unaware that they are already secretely seeing each other. Until something goes wrong, and the secret dares to be exposed.





	Capital Letters

“Genya, open the door!” Zoya growled, leaning against the wooden door frame while basically talking to the locked door in front of her. “I have work to do”, she added, running a hand through her hair in annoyance. She  _ did  _ have an awful lot to get done today, and this didn’t fit into her plan at all. 

Behind her, someone sighed. “Save your breath, Nazyalensky. She isn’t going to open up anyway”, Nikolai commented, leaning against the window sill and looking awfully unbothered by any of this. 

Zoya cast him an annoyed look. “Genya!” she tried again. But no reply. She had probably already left.  _ Saints, she was going to kill Genya Safin one day.  _

“I didn’t actually think she’d go  _ this  _ far”, Nikolai added, glancing out of the window down into the courtyard. “I thought she would give up eventually.”   
  
Zoya rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. “You know her, of course she isn’t giving up”, she snapped back, glaring angrily at Nikolai. “This is all your fault, anyway.” 

He raised a brow at her, his eyes gleaming amused. “You hurt me, Nazyalensky.” 

Zoya sighed restlessly, beginning to pace the room. She hated this. 

“In case you forgot, you were the one who said we couldn’t just tell them the truth”, Nikolai remarked, watching her. “We could have just told them we are together already, so Genya could stop this ridiculous plan to set us up.” 

Zoya didn’t look at him, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. He did have a point there.   
  
When Genya had first mentioned the possibility of Zoya and Nikolai, she had laughed it away and stirred the conversation towards a less explosive topic quickly. She hadn’t wished to elaborate on the first time she had found herself entangled in Nikolai’s arms, his lips pressed to hers, his hands in her hair. She also hadn’t wished to speak of all the mornings she had woken up in his bed since then, the times she had opened her eyes to him watching her sleep, the times she had simply curled up in his arms and forgotten about Ravka’s troubles for another minute or two. It was a terrible weakness she had started to develop there, and whenever she looked into Nikolai’s eyes and found herself getting lost there she was reminded of that. So no, she had not wanted to spill all those feelings to Genya, although she had come to trust her greatly in the last years. 

But since that day Genya had done everything she could to get the two of them together in a room - alone, obviously - and it had gotten more and more annoying and time consuming. She had even convinced David to help, who had lured Nikolai out onto the balcony during one night where Genya had promised to meet Zoya beforehand, only so she could meet the king instead. They had both hoped it might stop eventually, but only a day later Genya had started to drop hints about a marriage again, and suggested that Nikolai should be “looking around in his Court for a possible match”. Zoya had rolled her eyes and Nikolai laughed, but the implication had been clear enough. 

All of this would have been funny enough, if it had not been for the fact that Genya was dangerously close to discovering Zoya’s relations with the King through her attempts to set the two of them up, and Zoya really did not want her to know. She wasn’t ready to facing Genya’s talk about marriage, or becoming queen, or worst of all  _ having fallen in love with Nikolai.  _

“I can’t believe she locked us in a room together”, Zoya muttered now, glancing annoyed at the still shut door. “Couldn’t she at least try to make it look like a coincidence?” She shook her head. Subtlety wasn’t one of Genya’s strengths. 

Nikolai chuckled, shrugging. “She’s very determined to get us together, apparently.” He pulled the blinds behind him shut, then closed the window. 

Zoya raised a brow at him. “What are you doing?” she wanted to know, watching him. She watched him walk towards her, instinctively drawing away, but feeling her back bump into the door. 

“If we’re locked in here”, Nikolai began, stopping just in front of her. “We might as well make the most of it, right?” His eyes were gleaming when he leaned closer, pinning her against the door. 

Zoya could feel his breathing on her skin. She looked up at him, hesitating. How were the chances that Genya was standing outside, in front of the door? However she didn’t get to finish the thought, since Nikolai was already pressing his lips against hers, and Zoya couldn’t both think and be kissed like this. She wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling his golden curls slip through her fingers. This truly was her most terrible weakness. 

“Genya rather did us a favour”, Nikolai whispered into her ear, kissing the skin of her neck as his fingers began to open her  _ kefta.  _ “At least we get to spend some time alone.”   
  
Zoya was on the verge of saying that they definitely already spent way  _ too much  _ time alone - which had been what had gotten them into trouble in the first place - but she was interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“I’m back!” Genya announced from outside, and then a key was placed in the lock. 

Zoya shrieked at the sound, slipping away from Nikolai’s grip as he muttered a half-hearted “Oh Saints”, while she was busy rearranging her clothes and hair. 

Genya stepped inside just this moment, glancing in between the two of them. “You didn’t murder each other, that’s a start I suppose”, she remarked, giving Zoya an amused look. 

Zoya glared back at her angrily. “The next time you decide to lock me in a room, make sure I have better company”, she snapped, trying to make it sound genuine. She might have failed. “Besides, I have too much work to do.” She caught Nikolai’s smirk from the corner of her eye, throwing her hair over her shoulder and trying to ignore his presence. “I have soldiers to train.”   
  
Genya rolled her eyes, sighing dramatically. “You’re horrible”, she commented, stepping away from the doorway to let Zoya pass. “Many women in the Little Palace would kill to be locked in a room with the king”, she muttered in a low voice, low enough for Nikolai not to hear. “You should consider yourself lucky.” 

Zoya shifted uneasily for a second, before shrugging half-heartedly and storming off.  _ Anger was better than regret.  _ She didn’t wish to think about all those women swooning over Nikolai, and much less did she wish to  _ hear  _ about them. 

She was halfway down the corridor when suddenly, an explosion went off somewhere. Zoya froze, feeling a shiver running down her spine. Saints, Ravka always managed to ruin one’s day completely. 

Nikolai was next to her already, having followed her apparently. “That did not sound good”, he commented dryly. 

For once, Zoya didn’t have a snarky comment. She only nodded, beginning to hurry towards the sound which had shook the entire building. When they entered the throne room, Zoya froze so suddenly that Nikolai bumped into her. She felt herself paralyzed with fear for a moment. 

The entire eastern wall had been destroyed, leaving a giant hole in the palace. The stones had crumbled to the ground and the air was thick with dust. Just in this moment, the ground shook again. Zoya would have fallen over, if not for Nikolai’s grip on her wrist. 

“What is going on here?” he asked, sounding alarmed. It was a drastic difference to his usual carefree self. 

Zoya shook her head, taking a deep breath to collect herself and then walking towards the destroyed wall. Although she didn’t get very far because the next second, the stones below their very feet were crumbling. Zoya had a split second to process what was happening, then she was falling. She threw her hands out in an attempt to summon a storm to slow their fall, but she lacked her usual precision and the gust of wind was barely strong enough to be recognizable.  _ She was going to die,  _ Zoya realized with a sudden fear. And Nikolai with her. Again the storm rose around her, and when she crashed hard on the floor of the room below them she had at least summoned enough wind to slow the King’s fall. 

For a second there was only darkness, but Zoya forced her eyes open, seeing the remains of the throne room far above them.  _ How many levels had they fallen?  _ She had a terrible headache, realizing that she had probably hit her head while falling. Still, she sat up. Everything was spinning, but she tried to blink the dizziness away. 

Very suddenly, Nikolai was next to her. He looked unhurt at least, but his hazel eyes were still filled with fear. “Have you lost your mind, Nazyalensky?” he muttered, brushing the hair away from her face. 

She gave him a confused look, since she had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. “You should thank me for saving your life”, she muttered in return, blinking a few times to keep her vision from getting blurry. 

Nikolai cast her an odd look, his fingers brushing over her cheek. “You’re bleeding”, he observed. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m great”, Zoya replied, trying to make out the surrounding. “Where are we?” She hadn’t even noticed being hurt earlier, but now the pain in her head was intensifying. 

Nikolai didn’t move away from her, still holding onto her face like he was afraid she might fall apart. “The basement, I am assuming”, he replied. “There is a way upstairs, but it’s blocked by stones.” 

Now that he had mentioned it, Zoya did notice the pathway which seemed to be leading upstairs, or had been leading there before a couple of heavy stones had fallen in. “Let me get up-”, she began, but Nikolai’s iron grip on her shoulders held her back. 

“You’re not moving”, he replied sharply, although not without affection. He looked truly worried, so perhaps she looked worse than she assumed. “Also I’m not buying your lie about feeling fine”, he added. “You probably have a concussion.” 

Zoya rolled her eyes, although not with her usual spirit. She was much too tired for that. By now, she could feel blood dripping down her neck, the liquid hot against her skin. She was truly bleeding apparently. “I can get the stones out of the way”, she tried again. “No one has any idea we’re down here, we need to at least try to get out.” 

Nikolai cast her a worried glance, but seemed to be considering her preposition. “Fine”, he said eventually. 

But Zoya’s triumph about winning that argument didn’t last all too long, since she was faced with the challenge of getting to her feet. Her head was spinning even more when standing, and she staggered so much that Nikolai needed to catch her. 

“Saints, Zoya”, he muttered, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her upright. 

She took a shaky breath, trying to focus her attention on the stones. “I’m fine”, she repeated with all the conviction she could master, letting the storm rise around them. For a second the force of her power streamed through her so strongly that the pain faded away, and when she raised her hands to throw the full force of her storm against the stones she didn’t feel weak anymore. 

The stones scattered away, revealing an opening to the path which led up into the palace. Zoya let the storm fade, her knees immediately giving up under her. She fell right into Nikolai’s arms, which was terrible enough all by itself. 

“As much as I understand fainting in my presence”, he commented, but his voice more strained than usual. “I would rather appreciate it if you could stay awake.” He picked her up in his arms then, like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

“Nikolai!” Zoya protested, but it was a weak objection. “I’m fine”, she said again, not more convincing than before. She felt herself sinking deeper into his arms, her head resting against his chest. His heartbeat was echoing through her head.  _ If Genya saw this, she would probably cheer.  _

Without looking at him, she knew Nikolai was rolling his eyes. “Could you stop saying that?” he asked, climbing into the path which led upstairs. “You’re very obviously not  _ fine. _ ” 

Zoya huffed weakly, feeling her eyelids grow heavier with each step Nikolai was taking. 

He seemed to have sensed that, since he took the word again. “Zoya, keep talking to me”, he said, his voice slightly shaking.  _ He was worried for her.  _ Somehow, Zoya’s brain couldn’t quite comprehend that at the moment. “Say something insulting, it’s what you do best.” 

“You’re an idiot, Nikolai”, she muttered, knowing she was clearly not at her best right now, if this was the worst she could come up with.   
  
It still made him laugh, although she could still feel the tension running through his body. “Maybe Genya is right”, he said in response. “We  _ are  _ perfect for each other.” 

Zoya wasn’t sure if he was joking or not, or if she was simply hallucinating. “In your dreams”, she replied, taking a ragged breath as she felt her eyes falling shut even more. Although passing out in Nikolai’s arms was one of the least favourable things she could think of, she probably wouldn’t be avoiding it. “Don’t let Genya see us like this”, Zoya added, concentrating on keeping her consciousness. “She’ll never shut up about it.” 

Nikolai huffed. “We could have avoided all of it if we had just told her the truth.” 

“What truth?” Zoya muttered. “That we’re star crossed lovers who finally found each other and fell in love despite all the challenges?” She tried to sound spiteful, but her voice was shaking so badly that she hadn’t quite managed. “That would make Genya very happy I’m sure.” 

Nikolai was silent for a moment, very unusual for him. “No need to make it so dramatic”, he said eventually. “I would have just told her that during the doom of the Shadow Fold, I realized my feelings for you and decided to finally act on them.” 

_ My feelings for you.  _ The words echoed through Zoya’s head, but even if she had wanted to give an answer, she couldn’t. Her eyes had already fallen shut. 

“Zoya”, Nikolai said, panicked. “Stay with me.” He sounded desperate. “ _ I can’t lose you.”  _

But she was already falling, an endless darkness spreading around her which drowned out everything else. 

Zoya awoke with a headache, although not as bad as it had been before. She opened her eyes slowly, the light blinding her for a moment. Everything around her was blurry and white, and she needed to blink a few times before seeing something. 

The first thing her eyes caught was golden hair, and she noticed with surprise that Nikolai was leaned over her. She blinked a few more times, for a second hoping she might only be imagining things.  _ I can’t lose you,  _ his voice echoed through her head.  _ My feelings for you.  _ Saints, she was in trouble. 

Nikolai was watching her with a troubled expression, as Zoya struggled to sit up in the bed. “You shouldn’t move too much”, he remarked, with a tone of voice that suggested he knew very well that she was going to ignore the advice anyway. 

“What are you doing here?” Zoya muttered, running a hand through her hair. She probably looked like a hot mess, and also felt like one. Although she would never admit that she was glad to see him here. 

He raised a brow at her. “Making sure you don’t die, Nazyalensky”, he replied, with a sharpness that she didn’t know from him. 

Zoya sighed. “Does Genya know you’re here? She’s going to love this.” 

“I don’t care”, Nikolai replied flatly, eyes never moving away from her face. “Are you feeling better?” 

Zoya cast him an irritated glance, but nodded. “I feel fine.” This time, it was perhaps almost the truth. She tried to remember the last things which had happened, but it was all a blur. “What exactly happened?” she wanted to know. 

Nikolai brushed a strand of hair away from her face, his fingers lingering on her neckline. “A couple of fabricators blew up the side of the palace”, he explained. “That’s why we crashed into the basement.” His hazel eyes were unmoving. “The healers said you have a concussion, and lost quite some blood. But it should be fine.” He didn’t sound like it was going to be fine. 

“Marvellous”, Zoya muttered, leaning back against the pillows. She hated this. “Can I leave, at least? I have work to do.” 

To her surprise, a slight smile appeared on Nikolai’s lips. “I told them you were going to say this”, he replied, leaning forward to kiss her temple. “But you’re staying.” 

Zoya shot him an annoyed glance, although it was hard with Nikolai’s breathing dancing over her skin distracting her thoughts. “I can take care of myself”, she snapped at him. 

Nikolai only smiled. “I know. You’re still staying, and if I have to personally watch over you to ensure that I will.” 

Sometimes Zoya was wondering if the King was perhaps even more stubborn than she was herself. “I hate you”, she muttered under her breath, pulling away from him deliberately.

Nikolai looked amused. “I am quite fond of you as well, Zoya”, he said lightly. 

_ My feelings for you.  _ Zoya played with the blanket between her fingers, watching Nikolai thoughtfully. “About what you said”, she began carefully. “Before I lost consciousness.” 

Nikolai’s gaze never left her. “I meant every word”, he said quietly. “If you had allowed me to do so, I would have told Genya the truth weeks ago. We don’t need to hide this, Zoya.” He leaned forward, reaching out for her. His lips hovered just inches away from hers. 

She thought about pulling away for a second, about telling him that all of this was one big mistake, that they were crazy for believing that they could make it work. But she didn’t. Instead she leaned forward and kissed him, feeling the familiar pressure of his lips against hers as she sunk further back into the pillows. 

Nikolai’s hands ran over her neckline, down her back, pressing her tighter against himself. Zoya could feel his heartbeat under her fingertips as she rested her hands against his chest, curling up in the fabric of his shirt. 

“I thought I might lose you”, he whispered against her lips, his eyes finding hers for just a moment. Zoya was barely able to breathe. She kissed him again, this time pulling him onto the bed on top of her. It was hardly the right time or moment, but she had forgotten how to care. 

Nikolai’s lips found her neck, his breathing creeping over the skin. “I don’t think this is entirely appropriate”, he whispered amused, fingers brushing through her hair. 

“None of this is appropriate”, Zoya replied, looking up into his eyes. “You never cared before.” 

He shrugged, kissing her cheek. “I was never so worried about you before, you know.”   
  
She was just on the verge of replying, when suddenly the door was opened. Genya was standing in the doorframe, now frozen in her place. “Oh”, she exclaimed flatly, staring at the picture in front of her. 

Zoya sighed dramatically as Nikolai laughed and rolled away from her, giving her an amused glance. “Could you please close the door, Genya dear? We don’t want everyone else to join in, do we”, he commented. 

Genya very slowly pulled the door shut behind herself, still staring at the two of them with her jaw dropped. “I can’t  _ believe  _ you hid this from me!” she suddenly hissed, casting Zoya a furious glance. “You lied to me when you said you weren’t interested in him!”   
  
Zoya bit her lip apologetically, sitting up again. Nikola still looked far too amused. “I didn’t know how to explain-”, she began, but Genya was suddenly hugging her fiercely, and she was cut off. She cast a helpless glance at Nikolai next to her, then hugged Genya back hesitantly. “Am I forgiven?” she wanted to know. 

Genya pulled away, narrowing her eyes. “Only because I’m so happy for you”, she replied, giving Nikolai a stern look. “You lied to me as well!” 

He shrugged apologetically. “Zoya didn’t allow me to tell you.” 

Zoya glared at him for that comment. Genya’s lips had spread into a smile. “So I was right”, she declared proudly. “When I said you were going to make a great couple!” 

_ Couple.  _ Zoya hated that word. “We’re not exactly a-” she began, but Nikolai was faster. 

“Perfectly right”, he replied, giving Zoya a long look. “She just needed some time to come around.”

Saints, this was awful. Zoya rolled her eyes, Genya grinned, and Nikolai looked much too happy with himself. 

“I’ll leave you to it”, Genya said eventually. “But I want to hear how it came to this later”, she added, giving Zoya a firm look. “And no more being secretive!” 

Zoya made a face at that prospect, nodding half-hearted. “Sure”, she muttered as Genya smirked and slipped away from the room again, leaving her alone with Nikolai once more. 

He reached for her wrist, pulling her softly towards him. “That went well”, he remarked. 

Zoya rested her head on his chest, playing with the fabric of his shirt. “She’s going to force me to spill every little detail about this”, she replied, already dreading that conversation now. “Let’s see if you’re comfortable with Genya knowing all your little secrets”, she added, giving him an amused look. After all she didn’t want to be the only one suffering from this. 

But Nikolai only laughed, shrugging. “I don’t mind”, he replied, his fingers tracing the line of her cheekbone. “As long as that means I get to keep you.” 

Zoya huffed. “I’m still considering that”, she muttered, but with a lot more affection in her voice than she had planned. Somehow, the thought of Genya knowing had taken a small weight off her shoulders. 

Nikolai smiled, pulling her a little closer against himself. “I suppose I got truly lucky”, he whispered into her hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

“I suppose you did”, Zoya replied, burying her face against his chest to hide the little smile on her lips from showing. 


End file.
